Hidamari Shiitake: Anti Moe Unhappy Mushroom Motif
by burakkichu
Summary: despite the parody-ish title, this is not really a comedy. and it doesn't have anything to do with mushrooms. it's more like an experiment in "anti-moe"; my attempt at wringing the moe out of the Hidamari girls and watching them hurt each other rather than share tea and cookies. enjoy...maybe.
1. BOOKSTORE

a/n: well kiddies, the anti-moe Hidamari fic is back, with new, kid-friendly, guideline-conforming, extra-mushroomy title! wasshoi!

ok, i probably could have done without the 'wasshoi'.

anyway, let's get back to Yuno-san and Miyako-san being utterly hostile to each other. (yay!)

* * *

_**Hidamari Shiitake: Anti-Moe Unhappy Mushroom Motif** _

**BOOKSTORE**

At a certain bookstore near a certain high school, one nameless otaku said to another nameless otaku:

"Everywhere you look, it's _moe, moe, moe._ _Moe_ this..._moe_ that. You know what would be cool?"

"Your very own _moe_ love doll to rape while punching her in the face?" said the other.

"Tempting, but no. It'd be cool to see some anti-_moe_."

"Oh. You mean girls who are old and fat, have three kids and drink and smoke all the time?"

"No. That's just parody. That would just be funny and stupid."

"Well, duh. If they make fun of _moe_ then it's _gonna_ be funny and stupid."

"It wouldn't be so much making fun of _moe_. It'd be more like..."

The first trailed off, unable to find the right words to complete his thought. So he tried coming at it from another angle.

"...Okay, like when you're watching a _moe_ anime, for example. How's it make you feel?"

"Like changing the channel?"

"Alright, pretend you're one of those fat _hikikomori_ NEETs who feeds on that stuff, then."

"How should I know?" the other fired back. "I don't know what goes through their little-sister-deprived heads!"

"Okay, okay, fine," the first relented. "Then we'll just say that watching cute girls doing cute things for twelve or thirteen episodes makes most people feel all soft and squishy inside."

"Fat _hikikomori_ NEETs aren't most people."

"And so it's kinda like _moe_ is this happy world of sunshine, see," the first went on, ignoring the other, "where it's all warm and cozy and everybody gets along and there's plenty of love and peace and good feelings to go around, and the girls are always getting together for tea and cake and sitting around talking about nothing whatever."

"I can't believe you're talking about _this_."

"Well the _point_ was, anti-_moe_ would be the opposite of that."

"...Okay. Like I said: fat, old girls with kids who drink and smoke. And they all hate each other."

"That's still not what I mean."

"Should they make the girls cuss like yakuza, too? And have 'em eating cheap crappy cup ramen all the time instead of those homemade meals?"

"Okay, maybe 'opposite' is not the right word."

"Heh. That little reddish-pinkish-haired girl with the twintails from Lucky Star saying 'F-this, F-that' all the time would be pretty funny."

"Kagami? Dude, her hair's purple, not pinkish."

"No, not her. The other twintails. That small girl."

The first glared at the other suspiciously.

"What?"

"That's a minor character."

"So?"

"I thought you hated that anime. And yet you know about a minor character?"

The other glared back. "It's called having a little sister who wouldn't leave me alone until I watched a few episodes."

"She didn't appear until Episode 14!"

"Hunh...look who knew _that_ off the top of his head."

"And real girls don't watch that anime, anyhow. It's strictly for guys."

"Tell that to my little sister. She liked K-On!, too."

"...Really?"

"Yup. And don't even think about dating her. You're not goin' anywhere near her, dude."

"I wasn't thinking that."

"Like hell. I remember when you used to carry around that Ritsu cell strap all the time."

"...Well, whatever. Anyway, having Yutaka go around swearing every other word would still just be parody. But I'm thinking anti-_moe_ would be something more...kinda..."

He trailed off, still unable to find the words. Yet his thoughts were soon cut off by raised voices coming from elsewhere in the bookstore.

"RIGHT...THERE! YUNO!" a girl cried out.

"Well, I didn't see it!" insisted another girl.

The two nameless otaku turned to look, as did most everyone else in the small bookstore. Two cute high school girls stood unhappily before a tall shelf of books. The otaku recognized their uniforms as being from the nearby Yamabuki school. The air about the girls felt choked with tension.

"How could you NOT see it?" Miyako berated her. "The spine's green! See any other green spines here?"

Yuno looked as though she were about to fire a comment back at the taller Miyako. Instead, she abruptly turned away and angrily reached up high to fetch the book pointed out to her. Miyako likewise turned away and started walking off.

Yuno could not quite reach the book.

She stretched her arm higher, standing as tall as her short frame permitted. Her fingers only grazed the spine's lower edges.

Yuno threw a glance in Miyako's direction, as if hoping she would notice her predicament. Miyako didn't. Miyako had her back to Yuno and was headed for the front door.

Yuno narrowed her eyes. _Okay, whatever,_ her face seemed to say. So Yuno tensed herself up, then hopped, trying for the book. Not enough height on the first attempt. She hopped again. Her aim missed and her fingers bumped an adjacent book instead. She hopped again, glancing the right book this time but failing to get a good grip on it. She hopped once more.

Yuno suddenly heard a familiar childish laugh break out. It was Miyako.

Miyako, hearing the claps of Yuno's shoes on the floor, had turned around and was now imitating Yuno's hops, hopping in place and calling out, "Hop! Hop! Ahahahaha!" with selfish glee.

Yuno stopped.

The damage done, Miyako turned and resumed her ambling toward the front door, still chuckling. Yuno stood quietly for a few moments, looking humiliated.

Finally, she tried another idea, though she knew it would be bad manners to do it. Hesitatingly, she set her foot on a lower shelf and gave herself a boost.

Instantly she heard the store owner's voice reprimanding her from the checkout counter. "No climbing on the shelves, young lady," he spoke firmly.

Yuno nearly fell down, feeling caught in the act. Yet her discomposure swiftly turned to annoyance.

_So he was watching me, too? And he didn't offer to help?_

Indignantly she grabbed the book and got off the shelf, accidentally knocking over a nearby book about wild mushrooms. She didn't bother to pick it up. Walking up to the checkout counter, she had already decided that he didn't deserve the bow and humble apology that her Japanese mannerisms were urging her to give. Instead, she rudely tossed the book onto the counter and muttered with obvious insincerity:

"Sorry."

The store owner looked all the more affronted. "Listen, if you and your friend can't behave yourselves in my store then you will not be allowed to come back. Do you understand?"

_I understand you didn't bother helping me when you saw I couldn't reach the book! Some store owner you are!_ she wanted to say. Yet she held herself back, fearing that he might refuse to allow her to purchase the book altogether if she started an argument.

"I-I just wanna get this book, okay?" she stammered in frustration.

Without another word, the store owner began ringing it up. Meanwhile, Miyako called out to her from where she stood waiting by the front door, arms folded and leaning on a rack of books.

"Hey, Yuno! You gonna make dinner soon as we get home or what? I'm starved!"

Yuno looked sullen, but said nothing.

"1243 yen," the store owner said stiffly.

Yuno slapped down 1250 yen and crassly swiped the book off the counter, walking off without bothering with her change or her receipt. Miyako walked out the door, Yuno following. Briefly Miyako turned back as Yuno walked ahead. Sticking her middle finger up her nose, Miyako pulled out a sticky blob and smeared it right at eye level on the glass door. She turned again and flew off after Yuno.

"Dammit," the store owner scowled. Stepping out from behind the counter, he strode off to a back room, reappearing moments later with a bottle of glass cleaner and a rag.

The two otaku momentarily watched as the store owner worked on wiping away all traces of Miyako's snot. They then glanced at each other.

"I wouldn't wanna watch an anime with girls like _that,_ either," the other said.


	2. MORNING

**MORNING**

Miyako awoke. It was still early. She hadn't slept well. Most of the night she'd been hungry. Glassily her eyes stared at the ceiling. She wished she could get back to sleep, wished that sleeping longer would help her feel better. Hunger, however, was one of those things that never let one rest. So eventually, reluctantly, she decided to get out of the hammock. She rolled over to climb out —

— and ended up falling out of it instead.

Her body hit the floor, yet her chest hit a small stack of comics piled up beside her hammock. A hard corner jabbed itself right above her breast. She cried aloud and winced with pain, hands going to the sore spot. Didn't happen very often these days that she fell out, but every once in a while...

_And it _would_ have to happen on a morning when I already feel crappy!_ she thought bitterly to herself.

Slowly rolling to her knees, she eventually recovered, then stood up. Angrily she kicked her stack of comics, sending them flying across the room. That would sure show them. She cared not that her petty act of revenge made yet another mess in her already messy room.

Groggily she stumbled her way to the kitchen, muttering to herself.

"Sooo hungry..."

Yet checking her fridge, she found nothing substantial. Half a bowl of leftover miso soup with imitation mushrooms. A couple of tiger shrimps that she guessed were probably getting old. Some diet juice that Hiro gave her that tasted thick and gritty like wet sand; Miyako didn't like it any more than Hiro did. Beyond that, nothing but bare metal grates. Disappointed, she shut the fridge and checked her cupboards. One lone package of rice crackers remained, with only two left inside. Bitterly Miyako crunched the last of her snacks, letting the empty package fall to the floor. Another small mess.

Not a minute later, she was pounding on Yuno's door, in hopes of free food. Yuno always had plenty.

"Yuno! Hey, Yuno! You awake yet?"

There was no answer.

Pound, pound, pound. "Yuuunooo!"

"Whaat?" came a sharp reply.

"Oh, good, you _are_ awake," said Miyako. Judging from the crispness of Yuno's voice, it sounded as though she had been awake for some time already. "Do you have anything to eat for breakfast?"

"No!"

Miyako hadn't expected that kind of answer.

"What? Whaddya mean, 'no'?" she blared.

"I mean 'no' as in 'go away'!" Yuno blared back.

"But you always have food!"

Feeling slighted by Yuno's lack of hospitableness, Miyako pondered what to do next, then decided to let herself in. She put her hand to the knob and announced her entry in customary cultural fashion...except her tone was rather crabby.

"Sorry for bothering y — eh?"

Yuno's door was locked.

Miyako gave the knob a few more twists, rattles, and pushes, but the knob refused to turn.

"Don't come in!" came Yuno's voice from inside. Miyako thought she heard an antsy edge to it.

"You _locked_ your door? What for?"

"Because!"

Miyako thump-thumped the door again. "What're you doing in there? Jackin' off?"

"Will you shut up? Make your own food for once! Or go ask Hiro if you're too lazy!"

_Lazy, eh?_ Miyako frowned to herself. Frustrated, she gave up, ending their exchange by kicking Yuno's door, very hard. She then retreated to her own room and slammed her door as loudly as possible.


	3. CROSSWALK

**CROSSWALK**

On her way to school, Yuno noticed Miyako limping ahead of her.

_Must've hurt herself when she kicked my door. Idiot._

Trotting forward, she caught up to the hobbling girl. "Oh, Miyako! Did something happen to your foot?" Yuno said innocently, right before sniggering openly.

"Shut up, shorty."

A loud growl suddenly emanated from Miyako's belly. She looked miserable. Putting an arm to her stomach, she slowly trudged her way forward on the striped crosswalk.

"You could've always bugged Hiro for breakfast," Yuno teased, smiling coldly.

"No flippin' way," came Miyako's surly reply. "I'm not going near Big Buns any more than I have to."

"But her cooking's always sooo tasty~," sang Yuno.

"Dealing with Hiro is worse than going hungry and you know it!"

"Coming from _you,_ that's saying a lot."

"...Go away."

They reached the end of the crosswalk. Miyako limped onward. Yuno paused to dig something out of her bag.

"Oh, Miyakoooo~," she chimed enticingly.

In spite of herself, Miyako craned her neck around. Yuno was holding up a nice meal-sized portion of onigiri.

Miyako's face brightened. Instantly she charged Yuno, reaching out for it. Yuno dodged sideways, keeping the onigiri out of her reach. Miyako deftly whirled, trying to outmaneuver Yuno and nab the prize. Yuno gave her a hard shove, nearly sending her to the ground.

"Ah, ah, ah," Yuno taunted. "First, what're you gonna gimme in return?"

Miyako's voice was desperate. "I'll do your homework. I'll do your art projects. I'll clean your room for a week!"

Yuno sneered. "You'd clean my room for a week for _this?_ Don't be stupid."

"But I'm hungryyyyy!" Miyako whined, stepping toward Yuno.

"And you can't do my art for me," Yuno said, stepping backward. "You know art doesn't work like that."

"You're doing this 'cause I made fun of you in the bookstore, right?" Miyako said, arms outstretched for the onigiri. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry already!"

_You don't mean a word of that,_ Yuno thought, pulling the onigiri farther away. "And I'm not trusting you with my homework, either."

"Then what do you want from me?" Miyako cried. She looked near tears.

"Hmm...what do I want?" Yuno pondered casually, looking nonchalant on purpose. Though the truth was, she hadn't planned on actually coercing any favors out of Miyako. She was only doing this to torment her.

Yet recallilng Miyako's words from earlier this morning gave her sudden inspiration. A nasty smile spread across Yuno's face. "I know...I wanna see you jack off in public."

Miyako froze.

"...Eh?"

She looked at Yuno dumbly. Waited for Yuno to say something like, 'Not really', or, 'Gotcha'. Yuno didn't. She only glared coolly back at Miyako, wearing an unpleasant grin.

"You mean...here?" Miyako said in dismay.

A car passed by on the road beside them. Another car passed in the other direction.

"Yup. Now."

Miyako stood stock still. So did Yuno. She watched Miyako tensely eyeing the onigiri, waiting to see what the hungry girl would do.

Suddenly Miyako put her hand to her crotch and hurriedly began working away at it, trying to hide herself at the same time, looking embarrassed to the core.

"God, Miyako! I didn't think you were _that_ desperate!" Yuno said in disgust, throwing the onigiri at Miyako's feet. She then turned and briskly marched off to school.

Miyako gasped and pounced on the onigiri. It was unwrapped, and parts of it were now smudged with sidewalk dirt. Miyako didn't care. Wiping off the larger bits of dirt, she chomped it down gratefully.


	4. CLASSROOM

**CLASSROOM**

"So you didn't _really_ wanna see that?" Miyako said to Yuno a short while later in the classroom. Class had yet to start.

Yuno was resting her chin in her hands, looking away from Miyako. "Would _you_ have wanted to?" she said humorlessly.

Miyako took her seat beside Yuno and began poking through her bag, pulling out what she needed to get ready for the school day. She then glared sidelong at Yuno.

"I think I'll tell Yoshinoya-sensei that you wanted to pose nude for our next figure study lesson."

Yuno froze. Her stomach tightened. Knowing Yoshinoya-sensei, she would push her to do it, too, if she were to hear something like that from Miyako. Yuno fought down the urge to snap back, _'Don't you dare!'_ at her. A show of vulnerability like that would only give Miyako the upper hand. Yuno figured she'd better push back.

"You know, for someone who was supposedly starving ten minutes ago, you sure aren't very grateful to the one who fed you," she said, turning to Miyako and leaning back in her chair, arms folded.

"You threw the onigiri on the _ground_, Yuno!"

"...Well, was it good?"

Miyako said nothing. She only sighed in disgust and put her face in her hands.

The girls were silent for some moments before Miyako spoke again. "If I get sick from that onigiri I'm gonna go throw up in _your_ bathroom," she said through her palms.

"What're you talking about?" said Yuno. "I used good rice."

Miyako threw her eyes at Yuno. "Do you seriously not get what I'm saying here?"

"Just go buy yourself a red bean paste bun and leave me alone, willya?" Yuno said wearily.

"I can't afford it!" they both said in unison. Miyako earnestly; Yuno while rolling her eyes.

"I knew you were going to say that," Yuno muttered.

"Well, 'scuse me, Little Miss Rich Girl - - and I do mean little."

"I'm not rich."

"Aha! But you can't deny you're little!"

"So what."

"Little, little, little!"

"Piggy, piggy, piggy."

"Eh? Piggy?"

"You eat everything in sight."

Miyako puffed herself up with pride, unashamed of her mighty appetite. "Hehn! At least I don't have to worry about my weight like Big Buns."

"I'm surprised your parents could afford to feed you as a kid."

That burst Miyako's pride bubble. "...Well...I'm surprised your parents didn't accidentally step on you as a kid!" she sassed back.

"Ha, ha. My height is my height; teasing me about it won't work."

"...Hop! Hop!" Miyako bubbled, grinning.

Yuno's face darkened. "That's different," she said in a low voice. "And see, you're not sorry at all."

"I _was_ sorry, really, but I took it back after you threw the onigiri on the ground," Miyako countered.

"Liar."

"Do you know how disgusting it was to eat that?"

"I didn't make you eat it."

"It was like eating food outta the trash!"

"Wouldn't be the first time somebody like you's eaten food outta the trash, would it?"

Miyako shot fiercely to her feet, her chair loudly clattering backward. She looked ready to punch Yuno in the face. Yuno involuntarily gasped and shrank back, eyes widening. Everyone else in the classroom turned their direction and went silent. The atmosphere in the room hung still.

Gradually, however, Miyako's face softened. For a moment - - just a brief moment - - the tough, icy exterior Yuno usually put forth had cracked, and Miyako saw the small and weak Yuno she still knew existed underneath. A bemused smirk grew upon her lips. She bent down close to the smaller girl's face.

"At least _I_ can still scare you, too," she said.

Yuno's eyes hardened, but she said nothing, and looked away. Miyako recovered her seat and sat back down, feeling rather pleased with herself.

Yoshinoya-sensei came in, and class started up, but Yuno appeared not to have noticed. She stared idly out the window, her thoughts having turned bitterly sour.

_So...it doesn't mean anything to her anymore now...does it? That time when Sae came up to my room...and Miyako had gotten scared, too! But now she's all like it doesn't have anything to do with her! Well, fine. She wants to be stupid, let her be stupid._


	5. AFTERNOON

**AFTERNOON**

Yuno was flustered and grumpy for the rest of the school day.

So when Miyako decided to invite herself over to Yuno's room after school, ringing the doorbell as if she were a deliveryman, then greeting Yuno with a wide grin and a "'Sup, shorty?" when Yuno opened the door, Yuno tried to shut the door in her face.

Miyako shoved a foot in the door. "Now, now," she chided, "Is that any way to treat somebody who comes bearing gifts?" She held out a few packages of snacks for Yuno to see. Yuno also saw that she carried loads more in her other arm. Chocolates, cookies, Pocky, chips, sweets, crackers, puddings, squid, octopus, and on, and on...they all looked rather tasty.

Joy flickered across Yuno's eyes for a moment, but suspicion quickly clouded them over.

"How'd you get all that? You never have any money."

Miyako grinned. "It's a secret."

Coming from Miyako, that only made it seem all the more shady. Yuno paused, considering. Perhaps Miyako made a questionable bargain with some less-than-reputable shop owner. Perhaps Miyako stole them. Whatever the reason, they sure looked delicious, and perfect for a late-afternoon snack after a lousy day at school.

So in spite of Miyako's evasiveness, Yuno decided to accept. "Well, thank you for the gifts, then," she said politely, if not a bit too formally. She reached out and took hold of what Miyako held out.

She felt resistance. Miyako had not released her grip on the snacks. She tugged harder. Miyako hung on.

"Hey! I come with the set!" Miyako cried.

Yuno stopped. _So that's the catch,_ she thought miserably. Yet tasty snacks, even if accompanied by an annoying Miyako, were better than no tasty snacks at all.

"Fine," Yuno muttered, and grudgingly opened the door wide to let Miyako in.

"Hnh! And a warm welcome to you, too!" retorted Miyako, seeing the sour look on Yuno's face as she walked in.

It seemed to Yuno that the day's lousiness was only going to continue.

.~.~.~.

Several yummy mouthfuls later, however, Yuno's countenance had brightened somewhat.

"Wow, these are really good, too," she said, munching on a pretzel stick filled with sweet red bean paste. She and Miyako were seated at her table, a pile of snacks open before them. Yuno had reluctantly poured glasses of juice from her refrigerator for the both of them, figuring she should at least pretend to be courteous to her guest in exchange for the free junk food.

"Right, right?" seconded Miyako through a mouthful of shredded squid.

Miyako gulped it down, then shot Yuno a mischievous look. Raising high a package of ichigo daifuku with whole strawberries inside, she lifted up her voice in narrative:

"And so, the poor hungry girl, whom the young high school art student had treated so heartlessly, revealed herself in the end to be a golden-haired princess...and a very generous princess she was, indeed. Not repaying unkindness for unkindness, but instead bringing many tasty gifts of Japanese confectionary wonder to share with the young high school art student, even when she herself had only been offered food thrown onto the ground, as if she were a mere dog!"

Miyako lurched forward, leaning close into Yuno's personal space.

"Are ya feeling guilty yet?" she said, a giant grin plastered on her face.

Yuno glared back icily at Miyako, half a pretzel stick still dangling from her mouth.

"You're a high school art student too, stupid."

Silence. They stared each other down, Miyako grinning, Yuno glaring and munching.

With a flick of her arm, Miyako snapped the pretzel stick out of Yuno's mouth and gobbled down the rest of it herself.

"Mmmm..._oishii~"_ she said happily.

"Whatever happened to sharing?" Yuno deadpanned.

"I think I just shared an indirect kiss with you," Miyako giggled.

Yuno sighed heavily. Deciding to try something else, she reached for a pack of Meltykiss green tea chocolate.

Miyako's hand shot out and snapped the chocolates away from her, too.

"Hey!"

Angrily Yuno turned to what was still on the table. She threw both arms out, reaching for a whole mound of snacks. Within moments a mad scramble ensued, with Yuno and Miyako grabbing snack after snack away from each other as fast as they could, the packages rustling and scooting wildly. Miyako tried to distract Yuno with a surprise attack: a quick peck on the cheek. It backfired. "Blegh!" Yuno cried, shoving Miyako so hard that Miyako fell on her back. Yuno took the chance to stuff her arms full of snacks and spring back to the other side of the table, out of Miyako's reach. Miyako recovered, then snatched Yuno's juice and chugged it down in two gulps. Yuno in turn grabbed Miyako's juice and started gulping. Miyako dove under the table and yanked hard on Yuno's foot, then tickled it rapidly.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Miyako barely avoided getting kicked in the face by Yuno's free foot. Still she banged her head on the table as she scrambled out. By the time it was over, Yuno was on her elbows, her school uniform covered in peach and mango juice.

"Oww, my head..." Miyako said, rubbing the back of it.

Yuno leapt to her feet.

"OUT!"

Miyako looked up. Her face hardened. "If you kick me out, my snacks go with me."

"Look at me!" Yuno cried. "This is your fault! What're you gonna do about it?"

"So do you want me to leave or do you want me to do something about it? Eh? You want me to strip you naked and wash you down, then wash your clothes for you?"

Yuno covered her face and gritted her teeth. After some moments, she grabbed some clothes and strode off to the bathroom, barking orders at Miyako.

"I'm going to get cleaned up! You stay here! And don't eat everything in the room! Leave some for me! No, leave _a lot_ for me! I want more than just _one piece_ of green tea chocolate!"

The bathroom door slammed shut.

Miyako was glum. "She makes _me_ sound like the greedy one," she mumbled, "but _she's_ being all..."

Quietly she selected another sweet-bean-filled pretzel stick and munched on it.

_It just doesn't taste as good anymore,_ she thought.


	6. SKETCHES

a/n:

in previous chapters i forgot to add the honorifics that yuno and miyako use when referring to hiro and sae. oh well, oops.

meanwhile the -chan and -cchi that yuno and miyako normally address each other with has been left out on purpose. shouldn't be hard to guess why, haha.

* * *

**SKETCHES**

Yuno shoved her juice-soaked uniform into Miyako's hands.

"Hey, watch it!" said Miyako through a mouthful of daifuku. "Or you'll get _my_ uniform - -"

"You're lucky that wasn't grape juice," Yuno said roughly. "If it had been, you'd be dead."

Swallowing then smirking widely, Miyako held up the package of daifuku. "Yep! Sure was lucky, wasn't it?"

"That kind of stupid joke is older than Fujisan. Now get washing. I have to wear that tomorrow."

"Yeah, yeah." Miyako got up to trudge off to her own room.

"And if you ever kiss me again, I'll hit you with my fists."

"Jeez, you're salty today. Eat something sweet, already. Like that Meltykiss chocolate. By the way, I licked all the pieces."

"Did not. They're individually wrapped."

Miyako left. Yuno took out some pencils and a sketchpad, hoping to de-stress herself by spending some time drawing. She sat with her back against her bed and her knees drawn up, placing her pad on her legs. It gave her a better drawing angle than a flat table, and Miyako wouldn't be able to look over her shoulder as easily when she got back. Yuno popped some green tea chocolate into her mouth. She'd had Meltykiss chocolates before and she'd really loved them...but right now it didn't cheer her at all.

A short while later there was a knock at her door.

"Come in."

Miyako entered unobtrusively, clean uniform in hand ready to be hung out to dry. Miyako herself had changed out of her own uniform.

"Thought maybe you might've locked me out," she said in a low voice.

"You have my uniform, stupid. Why would I do that?"

Miyako's footsteps thumped unhappily into the room. She dumped Yuno's uniform onto the table.

"Hang it," Yuno said, without looking up from her sketching.

"You want me to hang it, too?" Miyako griped.

"That's part of doing laundry, isn't it?"

Miyako debated with herself whether she should make Yuno do it by pitching a fit and then leaving the room. That would mean leaving most of her snacks with Yuno, though. Besides, Miyako had come over to pester Yuno just because she didn't want to be by herself. At least not for now.

So Miyako hung Yuno's uniform on the clothesline outside. Upside-down. Yuno noticed but didn't bother making a fuss. She felt she'd already won the battle.

Miyako sighed and plopped herself down at the table. She half-heartedly opened up a bag of octopus-and-salt flavored taro chips and munched. Yuno busily sketched. For some minutes, the only sounds in the room were Miyako's crunching and the faint _skritch-_ing of Yuno's pencils across her paper.

"What're you drawing?" Miyako said at length, crunching as she talked.

"It's a secret," said Yuno, throwing Miyako's words from earlier back at her.

"Mmmnh," Miyako groaned, then changed the subject. "Hey. Didja know that I flipped off that guy for you from the other day?"

Yuno stopped. Her brows furrowed.

"What guy?"

"That guy from the bookstore. The one that was being a butt to you."

Yuno hadn't known. Neither did she care.

"Oh."

She went back to her sketching.

"I even stuck some snot on his front door," Miyako said proudly. "Jerk deserved it. He should be more considerate of delicate young flowers like us."

"The way I remember it, you were being a jerk to me, too."

"But I made up for it! And the proof is in your tummy right now."

"So you admit you were being a jerk."

"...You're gonna turn into a sour old woman at the rate you're going, Yuno." Miyako then stuck her tongue out at her. "Anyway, I did it for _you,_ in case you didn't hear," she added.

Yuno's pencil paused. A few clock ticks passed.

"...Why?" said Yuno, her voice dripping.

"Just thought I'd stick up for you or something."

"Well now isn't that sweet. You show your feelings for me by wiping mucus on the front door of some bookstore. I can't tell you how touched I am," Yuno said emotionlessly.

Moments later she found herself sprayed by a bagful of octopus-and-salt flavored taro chips. A frowning Miyako held the empty bag in her hands.

Yuno closed her eyes and exhaled. "If you wanna make a mess, go make it in your own messy room. That's two messes you've made in my room today."

Miyako said nothing. She was too busy sulking.

Yuno picked up a chip and crunched it. _Hm...not bad,_ she thought.

.~.~.~.

The room was silent for a long time.

"I wanna draw something, too," Miyako said at last. She lay on her back now, hands behind her head, staring idly at Yuno's ceiling. Yuno was still sketching away. She had switched to charcoals, and had also spread out various art materials over her table.

It was getting late, near dinnertime. Yuno wasn't particularly hungry, though. Her belly was mostly full of snacks already. Naturally, Miyako still had plenty of room, but even she had gotten tired of eating junk food. So they had piled the remaining snacks, of which there were still plenty, off to one side on the floor.

"I'm not stopping you," Yuno replied.

"Could you lend me some paper?"

"If you promise me your first-born child."

"Tch. I'll promise you my tenth-born," sassed Miyako.

"You can get your own paper next door, then."

"I don't wanna go get it."

"Not my problem."

More silence.

"Come on, what's one sheet of paper?"

"And what's one grain of rice? Yet there are seven gods inside. And if a single grain of rice has seven gods, how many do you think there are in a single sheet of paper?"

"...Eight?"

Yuno, with great deliberation, scooted her things to clear a spot on the table. She then proceeded to bang her head against it. Bang. Bang. Bang.

"Oh, come on! It's not like it's rice paper! So why spout that Shinto crap? Gimme!" Miyako stuck her hand out.

"If I give you some paper, will you promise to shut up?" Yuno said, her face down.

"Sure thing, Yunocchichi."

Reluctantly Yuno tore off a few sheets from her pad. She thrust them over to Miyako's side.

"Was that supposed to be some kinda perverted joke?" she muttered under her breath.

"I'm gonna borrow your pencils, too," Miyako added, eagerly snapping up the B, 2B and 2H pencils from Yuno's set. "And if you say no, I'll put bite marks in 'em."

"Fine."

"You mean it's fine to put bite marks in 'em?"

"You _said_ you were going to shut up!"

Yuno frowned and returned to her sketch. Miyako giggled and lay on her stomach away from Yuno, setting to work herself.

_Mm. What to draw?_

Spontaneously she began to draw a caricature of a murderous Yuno. Her considerable talent showed through as cruelty, malice and heartlessness came into horrific life in Yuno's sketched face, line by line, shade by shade.

_Heh. This is comin' out good._

She clothed her Yuno sketch in a ripped and bloodied version of the Yamabuki High girls' uniform. Blood trailed out behind her from her latest act of violence, and her long, still-dripping butcher knife dangled by her hand. Her hair clips looked harsh and merciless.

For extra kicks, when she declared the drawing complete she added a talk bubble. Murderous Yuno growled insanely to herself: _"The Xs say KILL! KILL! ! "_ Miyako was quite pleased with the final result.

A shadow fell over her page.

"Nice drawing."

Miyako quickly hid her sketch, holding it to her chest. "Hey! You weren't supposed to look!" She turned about to see Yuno, who had noiselessly gotten up to steal a peek over Miyako's shoulder, standing over her.

"Oh, don't worry," Yuno said coldly. "You should see what _I_ drew."

She turned her sketchpad around. Miyako saw a cute and fluffy drawing of herself at a picnic in a happy, sunny park, shoveling food in her face from mounds of bentos around her. Her cheeks and clothes were covered in food, and her round, shiny belly pooched out voluminously. A mother and young daughter passing by were giving her strange looks.

Miyako scowled. "I'm not fat!"

"It's artistic license," Yuno said, grinning unkindly.

Miyako irritably shuffled her papers. "Oh yeah? How's _this_ for artistic license?" She whipped up a new drawing, a quick, cartoony sketch of Yuno with sparkling eyes and a drooling smile, masturbating herself over her pleated skirt. She then wrote in a caption: _"I like watching other girls jack off!"_

Yuno swiftly retaliated with a cartoony drawing of her own. A chibi Miyako, adorable, abandoned, starving, penniless...dressed in rags, gazing up pathetically with weepy eyes while holding a sign which read: _"Will Act Stupid For Food"._

Miyako's next attack: A drawing of Yuno hanging by a rope, dead. The Xs, instead of being on either side of Yuno's head, were now in place of her eyes.

Yuno's counterstrike: a cute and cuddly Miyako with oversized boobs and googly eyes that stared off in different directions. Talk bubbles surrounded her which read: _"Who murdered the lottery tickets?", "Love And Piece!",_ and _"Eight?"_

"You're just jealous 'cause you hardly got any," Miyako sneered, pointing at Yuno's chest.

The flurry of visual insults continued, one after another. For some time Yuno and Miyako continued this way, rapidly scribbling, sketching, outlining, shading...putting their skills to the perverse use of tearing each other down. It was a self-defeating endeavor, each girl's disposition only deteriorating further with every drawing, the visual abuse only getting nastier by the page.

"I'm out of paper!" Miyako blurted finally, sticking her hand out to Yuno for more.

Yuno shot her a vicious look. She clamped her hands down unyieldingly on her sketchpad.

Just then, a knock came to the door.

Without waiting for Yuno to answer, an older girl in peach-pink hair buns barged in, carrying an earthenware pot and a small bag of food.

_"Ojamashima~s'!"_

Yuno and Miyako froze, cringing inside. Hiro was here.


	7. VISITOR

VISITOR

Hiro was visibly chubby; anyone could see it. Though not many would call her outright "fat", unless it were for the sake of exaggerating in order to be cruel. So naturally, Yuno and Miyako often called Hiro fat behind her back, though only Miyako also called her Big Buns, Yuno personally finding the double-meaning nickname too silly.

Hiro straightaway tromped up to them and planted her earthenware pot down on Yuno's table. Right on top of all the sketches they had spread out on it.

"Nyumen," she said pleasantly, looking at each of them in turn. "I thought I'd try making some since it's a bit chilly out."

Hiro turned and thumped off to the kitchen, where she opened up the cabinets and took out one of Yuno's saucepans — without so much as asking Yuno first if she could use it — then pulled out a container of soup from her bag of food and set the soup warming on the stove. She then began washing a few vegetables.

Yuno and Miyako looked down speechlessly at the pot on top of their stuff. Typical Hiro. She probably hadn't noticed, or even cared, that they'd been in the middle of doing something. True, their venomous sketches of each other didn't warrant any proper respect, but for all Hiro knew, these sketches could have been school assignments.

"Boy, you two sure are quiet," said Hiro, busy at the sink. "You haven't said a word since I got here. Oh!" She stopped short. A sneaky look entered her eyes. "Maybe you were having a secret conversation?" She giggled knowingly at her own interpretation.

Already Yuno felt her nerves being raked by Hiro's presence. Hiro efficiently finished up her washing, then took one of Yuno's knives and began to chop. Miyako quickly found an excuse to leave.

"Welll, I'm out of drawing paper, Yuno," she announced loudly enough for Hiro to hear. "I'm gonna go get some more next door."

Yuno shot _Don't-you-leave-me-alone-with-Hiro-san_ daggers at Miyako. However, Miyako didn't make it far.

"Wait, where are you going?" Hiro said, backing up from the kitchen counter and standing in Miyako's way.

"To get some more drawing paper from my room."

"But I just got here," Hiro whined.

"I'll be right back," Miyako lied.

Hiro went silent for a moment. Miyako saw Hiro's eyes crusting over with a hard look.

_Crap. Here she goes._

"No, you won't. You're lying," Hiro said flatly.

Miyako tried playing defense. "Wha-? But I really am out of drawing paper!" She threw her voice behind her. "Right, Yuno? Aren't I out of drawing paper?"

Yuno pretended to be too focused on her sketching to hear Miyako. Better that Hiro's nettling was directed at Miyako than at herself.

"That's not what I mean." said Hiro. "I mean you're lying about coming back!"

"But I'm just going right next door, Hiro-san," Miyako said, trying to sound innocent.

Or at least, that had been her original plan — to go next door and hide out in her room, away from Hiro. Yet now that she said it, she could imagine Hiro coming over to check up on her, asking her if she was all right, and if she was all right then what was taking so long, and pestering her like an overbearing mother hen. She changed her plan on the spot to take a long walk instead. It didn't matter where to — BerryMart, DaDaMart, random street-wandering...anywhere just to get away from Hiro for a while.

Hiro, however, kept pressing Miyako. "And why'd you say, 'But I really am out of paper'? Why are you trying so hard to convince me?"

"But what's that got—"

"Even trying to get Yuno-san to back you up! It's not really about the drawing paper, is it? You're just trying to leave!"

Miyako sagged. She wasn't going to win this one. Not that she ever won against Hiro when Hiro got this snippy.

"Why is it you're always trying to get away from me?" complained Hiro. "Do I really bother you that badly? And here I am trying to do something nice for you guys! Honestly, it's dinnertime, you know? Aren't you hungry? Don't you wanna at least _try_ this food I made?"

"Actually, me and Yuno have been snacking all afternoon, so I'm kinda full already," Miyako said, giving Hiro a half-hearted smile and patting her belly.

"That's another lie. You're _always_ hungry," Hiro snapped back.

"Okay, you got me on that one."

"And what _kind_ of snacks were you eating? Junk food, I'll bet."

"Eehh..."

"Thought so. Honestly, you can't just eat junk food all afternoon! It's not good for you. You need some decent food in your body. Now go sit back down."

"But I—"

"No buts. Dinner'll be ready in just a few more minutes."

Miyako trudged off back to the table and flopped down on a floor pillow. Hiro returned to her chopping.

"Back so soon?" said Yuno.

"Hiro-san's gonna give us lots of extra nutrition for our bodies today. Hope your body is ready."

Hiro's knife came down unnecessarily hard on the next chop. "Do you have to make fun of everything I say? Honestly, I feel like an unwelcome guest here! Neither one of you have even so much as said 'hello' to me, you know!"

"Hello, Hiro-saaan," Yuno and Miyako chimed together.

"It's too late now," she fussed, turning back to her work.

Yuno and Miyako exchanged looks and shrugged, as if sharing a silent _'yare yare'_ together. They both knew Hiro would say something like that.

Miyako watched Yuno clear the sketches out from underneath Hiro's pot. "Lend me some paper?" she asked Yuno hopefully.

Yuno stuck out her hand. "100 yen a page."

Miyako sighed. She suddenly grabbed Yuno's 2H and sank her teeth into it. Yuno promptly threw an eraser at her face, pegging her just below the eye.

"Ow! Dammit!"

Miyako recovered the eraser and whipped it back at Yuno. Yuno deflected it with her sketchpad. Hiro gave them both a long, cold look.

"Honestly, you two just need to grow up already," she said.


	8. EVENING

a/n:

yeah, i gave hiro a speech pattern quirk that wasn't part of her character.

also, long chapter is long. lots of dialogue.

i had fun working on this part. hope you'll enjoy reading it.

* * *

**EVENING**

True to Hiro's word, her unasked-for, unwelcome dinner was ready a few minutes later. Yet in spite of herself, Yuno found herself looking forward to it as Hiro brought the food to the table and everyone was served. Suffering Hiro's meddling presence did have its upside. As Yuno sampled the nyumen, her mouth was filled with pleasant, well-balanced flavor. She swallowed gladly.

At moments like these, she supposed that on one level she should try to think more favorably of her sempai. Hiro had once again given them free food, and once again the free food was _good._ Yet looking upon Hiro, and seeing those fluffy cheeks of hers and those annoyingly childish hair buns, Yuno still could not forgive Hiro's general lack of courtesy and her tendency to smother people with her good intentions — of which barging in uninvited with dinner in hand, planting her pot down on their drawings, borrowing Yuno's kitchenware without asking, then blocking Miyako's escape and pressuring her to eat dinner were only today's most recent examples. In the end, these different aspects of Hiro always fell into separate places within Yuno's thoughts. Hiro the cook was tolerable. Hiro the person wasn't worth a kick in the butt.

Projecting herself upon Miyako without realizing it, Yuno rudely pointed her chopsticks at her and said, "_You_ can say what you want about Hiro-san, but she's a good cook."

Miyako frowned. "Hey! I'm not the only one who says things about Hiro-san!" she said through a mouthful of noodles.

Hiro glared at Miyako with deadpan eyes. "What kinds of things do you say about me?"

"...That you're a good cook," Miyako replied, before finally swallowing.

"And you're a bad liar. Don't talk with your mouth full, by the way."

Silence.

Miyako waited, but when Hiro said nothing further:

"Aw, come on! Don't just pick on _me_, Hiro-san! Ask Yuno what she says about you, too!"

Hiro turned to Yuno.

"That's an awful lot of snacks you have on the floor there, Yuno-san. You didn't spend too much at BerryMart today, did you?"

Miyako's head hit the table with a thud.

"No. Miyako brought all that over."

"..._Miyako-san_ did?"

"Don't say '_Miyako-san_ did?' like as if you can't believe I'd do something nice for somebody!" Miyako griped.

Hiro blinked. "No, it's more like...you eat everything in sight. I can't believe you'd have anything left to share."

"...Et tu, Bruté?" Miyako mumbled. She then fussily chowed down the rest of her nyumen.

"Not to mention that you're always broke," Hiro went on, rather tactlessly. "I'm surprised you could afford all that." She took another long slurp of noodles.

"Meh. I stole it, actually," Miyako said, mouth full again.

Hiro choked on her noodles and started coughing. Yuno fumbled her chopsticks.

"You WHAT?" Yuno cried.

"Though now that I think about it, it was a pretty fair trade, I'd say," Miyako added.

"I knew it," Yuno said accusingly. "I _knew_ there was no way you could have gotten all that legitimately! 'It's a secret', my butt!"

"Well if you supposedly 'knew' that, how come you still ate them with me? Eh?"

Yuno had no response to that.

"Ah-ha!" Miyako cried, pointing a finger. Yuno looked flustered.

Hiro finally managed to clear her throat. Her voice was firm, if not a bit raspy. "Miyako-san. Take all that back to BerryMart. Now."

"You sure you want me to do that, Hiro-san? I might _eat_ it all before I get there, you know!" Miyako sassed back.

"I'll go with you, then." Hiro set her chopsticks down and got up as though preparing to leave.

"Whoever said I took it from BerryMart, anyway?"

Yuno found words to strike back at Miyako with. "So now Miyako's a juvenile delinquent. What's next? You gonna go on a shoplifting spree?"

"What're you talking ab—"

"Miyako-san. Get up, we're going."

"Maybe even get yourself kicked out of Yamabuki for getting a criminal record—"

"You guys are overreac—!"

"—Not that I'd mind, it'd be a real improvement to our class!"

"Hey!"

"Yuno-san, that's enough. Let me handle this."

Yuno grumbled inwardly. There went Hiro again, trying to be everyone's mother.

_Fine. _Handle_ it, then. I don't care._

Hiro glared down at Miyako, towering over her. "Well if it wasn't BerryMart, there's only a few other stores around here within walking distance that it could have been. So which one was it?"

Miyako was tight-lipped.

"Miyako-san!" Hiro snapped.

"It's not like the store worker guy's gonna call the police on me!"

"Oh, really? Why's that?" Hiro looked utterly disbelieving.

Yuno, however, couldn't help thinking that Miyako's choice of words sounded dumb. _Store worker guy?_

Miyako hesitated to answer, but both Hiro and Yuno stared at her, unyielding. Finally, Miyako relented.

"...All right...I'll tell you guys," she said, holding her head down. Her voice grew soft.

"I was at that store after school...and, I tripped. I fell down, my skirt went up...and the store worker guy, he saw everything. Full-on pantsu. He helped me up, but then he was like, 'Oh please! Please let me have your pantsu! I'll pay you 10,000 yen for them!' And I was like, 'no way', but he kept bugging me and wouldn't leave me alone, so...I did what any self-respecting girl would do at a time like that. I kicked him in the nuts."

Yuno and Hiro both sweatdropped at that last line.

"And then I ran out of there as fast as I could, but I took all those snacks from his store while I was running just to get even with him! I mean, he saw me practically half-naked! I should get some kinda payment out of that, shouldn't I?"

Yuno and Hiro only sweatdropped harder.

Miyako now spoke defiantly, her spunky self back. "So see, if he wants to rat me out to the police, I'll just tell them he solicited a minor for sexual favors. He'll go to prison, and I'll get a consoling arm around my shoulders. He's _not_ gonna press charges."

Yuno and Hiro were silent. They weren't sure how much of Miyako's story to believe. It sounded plausible, and yet...not.

"Why didn't you just take the money?" Yuno said at last.

"See, Hiro-san?" Miyako said. "This is what I have to deal with every day from X-girl over there." She swiped up her empty bowl and held it out to Hiro. "More, please."

Hiro slowly sat back down. "Well, if that's the way it happened, I guess it can't be helped," she said in a low voice, taking Miyako's bowl and refilling it. "Next time something like that happens to you, just go report it to the nearest police box instead of trying to get even, hm?" she said, handing her more food.

"Whaddya mean, 'next time'?" Miyako said darkly.

"I would've taken the money," Yuno said casually.

"That's 'cause you're evil," Miyako countered.

Yuno shrugged. "It's just a pair of pantsu. What would I care what he does with them? Better that he rapes the pantsu than he rapes me."

Hiro flushed. She looked visibly embarrassed.

"So now we all know that Yunocchi-chi's pride and honor as a young, virgin girl is only worth a mere 10,000 yen," Miyako declared to all of Room 201.

"And Miyako's pride and honor is only worth one onigiri," Yuno answered back. "She'll even do weird things in pub—"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Miyako suddenly hollered, banging the table with her fist. Yuno smirked wickedly.

Hiro held out her hands to Yuno and Miyako. "All right, you two, that's enough! We're still having dinner now, so let's all just get along and eat!"

"Yes, Mommy~" they chimed together, Yuno with her cruel grin, Miyako with a sulking frown.

The room got quieter. Yuno resumed eating, Miyako resumed scarfing, but Hiro paced herself, trying to keep her appetite in check. At length, she spoke again.

"Honestly, if I weren't here, you two would be at each other's throats all the time."

"We _are_ at each other's throats all the time," said Yuno.

"Yeah. Some help you are, heh," added Miyako, once more with a full mouth.

Hiro pursed her lips. She gave them both a disapproving glare.

Yuno ignored Hiro's look. "Someday we might even kill each other," she said with perfect calm, before taking in more noodles.

Miyako gulped. "That would be cool," she said with equal ease. "The first double-murder in the history of Hidamarisou. Hey, it could become a big news story since we're both high school girls."

"Maybe even a movie," said Yuno.

Suddenly Miyako was getting into it. "Yeah! And Hiro-san! You can be the shocked bystander who first discovers our bloody, hacked-up bodies!"

"Our _naked_ bloody, hacked-up bodies," Yuno corrected.

"Eh? You mean we killed each other in the bath?"

"No. We were having sex."

Miyako stopped. She then shook her head. "Nuh-uh. We hated each other, remember? So why would we be having sex?"

"We were just bored and horny."

Miyako crossed her arms. "Nope. Still not buying it."

"C'mere and let me stroke your chestnut and then we'll see what you'll do when you're horny," Yuno said coolly.

Hiro slapped her chopsticks down. "Don't you two know how to have a _normal_ conversation?" she whined.

"You mean a _boring_ conversation?" said Yuno, glaring back.

"Don't you wanna see Yuno's stroking technique?" Miyako said, wiggling a finger. "This could be very educational."

Hiro put her face in her hands.

"I think she's embarrassed," grinned Miyako.

"I think we just put pictures in her head," smirked Yuno.

Hiro said nothing.

"Okay then, change of subject!" Miyako declared. "Yuno! Sing something out of key!"

"No."

Hiro peeked out from between her fingers. "Honestly, you guys are just..."

"Six!"

"What?"

"That makes six times you've said 'honestly' today! Ahahaha!" laughed Miyako. She held up the appropriate number of fingers.

Hiro gave her an unpleasant look.

Yuno, however, was snickering at Hiro too. "Can you tell us how many times she's said 'you two', Miya?"

"Five!"

"That's actually impressive. How 'bout how many kilos she's gained this week?"

"Four!"

"Cakes eaten today?"

"Three!"

"Fluffy hair buns?"

"Two!"

"Pouty faces?" said Yuno, glancing at Hiro's taut face and glowering stare.

"One!"

"All right, look!" Hiro interrupted, her voice turning viciously sour. "If you want to pick on each other, fine! But don't pick on me! I didn't do anything to deserve it! I came over and brought dinner just because I wanted to be nice! I like to think that I'm looking out after you guys! But honestly! You two aren't showing any appreciati—"

Yuno and Miyako burst out laughing.

"WHAT'S SO FUNNY⁉" Hiro demanded.

"Seven and six!" Miyako beamed.

Yuno hadn't had a laugh this good all week. She was actually enjoying Hiro's company for once. Hiro, however, looked ready to burst.

"Fine‼"

Hiro immediately grabbed their soup bowls and their noodles and dumped their portions into the central pot. She dumped the rest of the soup in there as well, then angrily got to her feet. She clapped the lid down on her pot and took it away. Yuno stared at the emptiness on the table where her food had been. Miyako growled and snapped at Hiro like an angry dog.

"You want any more, you can come down to my room to get it," Hiro said haughtily. "But you'd better be ready to do a lot of apologizing!" She walked off to the door in a huff and slipped into her shoes.

"Meh, you're just taking it 'cause you wanna eat it all yourself," Miyako called out after her with a grin.

"Hmph!" Hiro said loudly. She slammed Yuno's door, hard.

Yuno and Miyako let the silence following Hiro's departure sink in for a few moments.

"Well, that's one way to get rid of her," Yuno commented.

"_Ne,_ Hiro-san was pretty fun tonight!" Miyako said brightly.

"Now if only there were some way to get rid of you."

Miyako's brightness dimmed. "Boo." She rudely pointed her own chopsticks at Yuno, as Yuno had done to her earlier. "_You_ can say what you want about me, but I'm a better liar than Hiro thinks I am."

"I knew that stupid story you told wasn't true," Yuno muttered.

"Wanna hear the _real_ story?" Miyako said devilishly.

"You started your criminal career by stealing snacks from a convenience store, the end. What more is there to tell?"

"I didn't tell you the part about the alien, the time traveler, the esper, and the girl who would be God."

Yuno put face to palm. "Just shut up."

Miyako raised a finger to make an announcement. "And now, it's time for a sketch to commemorate the evening's events! The subject: Hiro-san!" She fetched Yuno's sketchpad and tore off a clean page.

"I wasn't kidding about that 100 yen a page, you know," Yuno objected.

"What about stroking my chestnut? You weren't kidding about that either, then?" Miyako grabbed a pencil, flopped on her tummy and began to draw, using Yuno's sketchpad for backing. "Besides, I already gave you way more than 100 yen worth of snacks. You're welcome."

"...Go home already."

Yuno got up. She picked up their empty bowls, chopsticks and drinking glasses. She took them to the kitchen and began cleaning up. She noted with irritation that she also had to clean up the dirty dishes Hiro had left in her kitchen as well.

_If only Miyako weren't so...Miyako. I was actually starting to have fun with her for a while there,_ Yuno thought as she cleaned, recalling their impromptu teaming up to poke fun at Hiro. _But as soon as she starts trying to talk normally to me, nothing but stupid comes out of her mouth._

Just as she had finished, and had settled back down at the table and was getting ready to start her homework — and to tell Miyako again to get out and go home — Miyako sat up and slapped her page down onto the table.

"Done!"

Yuno craned to look, in spite of herself. Miyako had deftly knocked out a ridiculously fat SD sketch of Hiro. _"Honestly! You two never appreciate my fat-assery!"_ the whiny talk bubble read.

Yuno examined it dryly. "What the heck is 'fat-assery'?"

"Huh?"

Yuno rolled her eyes. She held out her hand. "Sketchpad."

Miyako got it for her, but before handing it off she started to say, "100 yen a—"

Yuno fiercely grabbed it out of her hands with a dark look. She flipped it open to a fresh page. "If you're gonna make fun of Hiro-san, do it right. Watch and learn."

A few short minutes later, Yuno presented Miyako with a rough sketch of a hugely fat and crying Hiro pigging out on piles of cakes, crackers, mochi, sweet potatoes, dango, omelets, steam buns and a giant bowl of rice, all cutely drawn in Yuno's style. Meanwhile, packs upon packs of diet jelly rested on shelves behind her, uneaten. _"Why don't I ever lose any weight? *sob*"_ fat Hiro wailed in the caption.

Miyako was critical. "Eeehh? No Texas Burger from McDoro's?"

"No _what_ burger?"

So once again, the two set out to compete against each other over who could draw the most mocking sketch, but now with Hiro as their target instead of each other. Yuno forgot all about her homework while Miyako drew on the backs of used pages, together churning out drawing after insulting drawing, complete with captions.

_"I'm fatter than my hair buns *sob*"_ went one sketch.

_"I'm fatter than this Western-style toilet *sob*"_ went another, rolls of fat hanging grotesquely over the sides.

_"I'm fatter than Hidamarisou *sob*" _went one with a Hiro-shaped mountain of blubber and the apartment building side by side.

_"I'm fatter than Yamabuki *sob*" _went a similar one.

"Copycat," said Miyako, eyeing Yuno's Yamabuki sketch. Yuno stuck her tongue out at her.

_"I'm so fat a drawing of me won't fit on one page *sob*"_ Miyako had drawn that one with an extra page attached for Hiro's belly.

Yuno found that she was enjoying herself with Miyako again, taking perverse joy in sharing the ridicule of their sempai. "Ehehe, if Sae-san ever found us drawing these, we'd be so dead," she sniggered.

"Ahahaha, yeah," Miyako seconded.

All at once, their pencils stopped, mid-stroke. They suddenly grew chillingly quiet, exchanging a long, silent look.

Moments later, Yuno and Miyako simultaneously bolted up from the table. Yuno thumped to the front door and locked it. Miyako secured the latch on Yuno's balcony door and threw the curtains shut. Yuno turned around. She looked at her curtains, then at Miyako.

"Sae-san's not gonna come through the balcony, stupid."

"_I_ sometimes come through the balcony."

"That's 'cause you're a retard."

Miyako frowned and gave Yuno the finger. It was her ringfinger, though. Yuno exhaled and shut her eyes.

* * *

p.s.

Texas Burgers: a hideously nasty-looking pile of McMeat and bacon available on the Japanese McDonald's menu. actually, i'm sure it's probably delicious, but personally, i just can't eat that much fat 'n' grease in one sitting without it making my body sick. so i call it nasty.

on the other hand, i find the name of the burger hilarious, being from Texas myself.

doro = mud, so McDoro's = McMud's. i made it up. i have no idea how real japanese people make fun of the McDonald's name...or even if they are inclined to do so at all. seems all they like to do is turn the logo upside down.

about Miyako's chestnut: chestnut = _kuri_ → short for _kuritorisu_ → clitoris. it's a valid euphemism, as far as i know.


	9. NIGHT

a/n:

i found this line in my notes above an early draft for this chapter:

- "i heard a rumor somewhere that japshitfun has a secret obsession with yuno-sama." -

and i have no idea why i wrote that.

* * *

**NIGHT**

_...Fucking Yuno._

Miyako sat unhappily on the floor in the midst of the mess that was 202, doing her best to make a late-evening dinner out of Meltykiss chocolates and strawberry milk flavored food drops. The one-and-one-third bowls of nyumen she ate before Hiro snatched it away hadn't been nearly enough, and already more than two hours had passed since then. Her stomach wanted food, but there was little to be had aside from her pilfered snacks.

Earlier, before being kicked out of Yuno's, she had tried to negotiate a meal of cup ramen from Yuno's plentiful stash, promising to be "really nice" to her tomorrow, but Yuno had only stared back at her icily. The last thing Yuno wanted was for Miyako to be "really nice" to her — so she said — and again she had told Miyako to go back to her own damn room. So where negotiation failed, Miyako tried theft, but Yuno stomped her toe before Miyako's fingers could successfully attach themselves to a free cup of ramen. Then where theft failed, Miyako tried assault, thrusting fingers at Yuno's face to poke her eyes, but Yuno parried with a sideturned palm in front of her nose, then caught Miyako by the forefinger and gave it a nasty twist. And so Miyako had to admit defeat amidst crying out in pain and cringing in Yuno's grip.

That was nearly a half-hour ago. Her finger still ached. Miyako didn't think Yuno'd had it in her to fight back as feistily as she did. She seemed such a small and dainty girl, even if she wore a seemingly perpetual cruel stare in her eyes. Yet Miyako's sore finger was only half the reason why she presently sat cursing Yuno's name as she popped candy after candy into her mouth:

_If only Yuno weren't so..._Yuno. _Maybe then I could've told her what really happened at that store. Yeah I can be a jerk sometimes, but Yuno, she's a real ass._

At least she hadn't been alone this afternoon. Miyako granted that much.

_But the whole time I was there she was like, 'Go home!' 'Go home!' 'Wash my uniform then go home! Dammit!'_

And to top it off, the one chance she had to open up and at least make the attempt to tell Yuno about the incident at the convenience store, Hiro was there.

_...Fucking Hiro-san, too._

No way was she going to discuss something like that in front of someone like Hiro. It was too sensitive, too embarrassing. Moreover, she didn't want to give Hiro occasion to offer up any of her nettlesome, overprotective-motherly sympathy.

_Hell, I barely even wanted Yuno's sympathy._

Yet even realizing that much gave her a moment's pause. So she really had wanted sympathy from a person like Yuno after all? Yuno, the ass-face? She supposed it had to be true. She hadn't wanted to be alone after rushing home from that convenience store. She _had_ wanted someone to talk to.

Then just as quickly as it had popped up, Miyako brushed the thought aside. No use dwelling on it. This was how things had turned out, same as she had expected all along. Yuno being cold as ever, Hiro's big butt barging in where it wasn't wanted, and herself sitting alone in her apartment, surrounded by these unhappy people, eating whatever she could manage to scrape together until her next meager allowance came in from her not-so-well-to-do family.

She grumbled inwardly, getting sick of the food drops and turning instead to the last unopened pouch of Pocky. No, she probably couldn't have opened up anyway, even if Hiro hadn't been there. She probably couldn't have told Yuno after all about how she'd been stupid enough to go into the back storeroom of that convenience store by herself, when that "store worker guy" had called out to her and asked if she could come help him with some boxes, with absolutely no one else being in the store.

She'd been to that store before; she'd even talked with the guy a couple of times, and he seemed harmless — just a young guy not much older than herself, a college student holding down this part-time job to help pay for his expenses. Or so he had told her. Maybe that was just some story he made up to gain her trust. Whatever the case, it had worked; she didn't think anything of going back into that storeroom to give him a hand.

She didn't think he'd try something like suddenly grabbing her from behind and groping her breasts when she wasn't looking.

She didn't think she'd suddenly start feeling his warm, slimy tongue slithering across the back and sides of her neck.

She didn't think she'd feel his hands trying to rip her school uniform off of her body as she struggled to break free.

And she didn't think she'd find herself fighting with the guy.

But with her back against him and his arms around her, she instinctively headbutted his nose with the back of her head, and it bought her a brief moment of freedom to whirl about and shove a foot up into his testicles. Or at least, that had been the idea. Instead, he caught her foot, and Miyako felt her balance give way as he twisted her leg, hard. She ended up on her stomach on the floor, and he was on top of her in moments.

From there things got fuzzy, for she remembered it was then that she began to panic, feeling trapped and hearing his voice and feeling his breath at her ear. She couldn't remember what he said, but his voice was oddly soft, almost like a gentle whisper, as if he were trying to comfort her or reassure her even as he had her pinned down, and it only frightened her all the more.

She broke free and scrambled forward in a wild burst of surprising strength, grabbed onto the base of a tall wire rack of stockroom shelves, then tried to clamber up the rack to pull herself to her feet.

Instead, she ended up bringing the rack down upon herself and the store worker guy in a loud crash.

Funnily enough, she didn't feel a thing. She scurried out from beneath the shelves and jumped to her feet. It was then that she noticed that most of the heavy stuff, unwisely placed on the higher shelves rather than the lower, had fallen on top of the guy, missing her entirely. The guy was struggling to get up but not making much headway, yet.

So Miyako took the opportunity to bring two more wire racks full of heavy boxes crashing down on top of the guy. She then sped out of the stockroom, tripping over a stray box of merchandise scattered on the floor. Briefly she fell flat on her stomach again but bounced back to her feet almost instantly and ran for the exit.

It was only after she had raced away for several blocks — through narrow alleyways, past the back doors of people's homes, leaping over potted plants by the side of the path, startling stray cats and an old lady along her way — that she finally dared to slow down and take a look about her. She gradually began to realize that she was not being pursued.

She also gradually began to realize that her arms were loaded with all kinds of snacks from that convenience store. She had no recollection of how they had ended up in her hands, and she nearly dropped them in disgust right then and there, wanting to have nothing at all to do with that store anymore.

However, she also remembered thinking at that moment —

_But...that'd be such a waste..._

And so, a short time later, Yuno was the unsuspecting recipient of a share of Miyako's unexpected haul. Miyako just felt fortunate that no one had stopped her on the street and called the cops while she'd been running. She must have looked for all the world like some shoplifting schoolgirl trying to make her getaway.

Of course, she knew she could have always told her story about the attempted rape if she did find herself confronted by the cops, but even if the guy did end up arrested and charged, she doubted she'd get off without some kind of minor offense on her record herself, or at the very least a lengthy lecture about the proper behavior of Japanese youth, what with having all that tasty unpurchased merch on her hands.

Either way, she really wanted nothing whatsoever to do with that place anymore, not even to file a report herself on that guy. Yeah, the bastard had just tried to rape her, but in the end, all he got was a free feel, and she just got a momentary bad scare. That was all. As far as Miyako was concerned, it was as good as over now, and she supposed that she did get some kind of payment after all for being felt up. The snacks were pretty tasty.

Even if they weren't exactly filling.

Miyako began thinking if there was a way she could trick Yuno out of some cup ramen tomorrow as she stuffed down the last of the Pocky, while pondering if a package of dried squid, miscellaneous hard candies and chewing gum would do for breakfast tomorrow morning. But in the end, all she did was yell —

"Fucking Yuno!"

— at the wall facing 201 and throwing an empty crumpled-up Pocky box at it.

Yeah, she probably couldn't have told Yuno about it anyway, Miyako thought. Not to someone like her. Miyako wondered why she had even bothered trying. She kept wondering that for some time.

.~.~.~.

On the other side, in darkened 201, Yuno rolled her eyes in bed. _I heard that, you know,_ she thought with some bitter amusement. But really, she was currently in no mood to get too pissy about it. She was busying herself with her own body, quietly trying to masturbate in peace. And she had been enjoying herself quite well so far, until Miyako momentarily distracted her just now. The outburst reminded her of this morning, when Miyako had banged on her door. _"What're you doing in there? Jackin' off?"_ she could still hear Miyako bellowing.

_Actually, yeah, I was,_ Yuno presently said to herself. She considered how lucky it was she had remembered to lock the door the night before. Miyako already picked on her relentlessly in any weird way that her weird brain could come up with — no need to give her any more ammunition by getting caught in an embarrassing half-naked position. Tonight Yuno had made sure to lock her door again — and to lock the sliding door to her balcony as well.

Tuning out the other noises she could hear coming from 202 — Yuno could hear some random bangings and crashings starting up in the next room now — she settled herself back into her fingering session, picking up from where she left off, her pajama bottoms shucked off and her top pulled up above her bare breasts. And once again she began enjoying herself quite well, when she then heard another distracting sound from her neighbor, but this time from the one below. It was faint, but easily recognizable, for she'd heard that disgusting hacking sound before.

It was Hiro puking up in her bathroom.

Yuno sighed, rolling her eyes once more. _There she goes again._

.~.~.~.

_There she goes again,_ Miyako thought. She had been in the midst of rampaging about her room, but once her sharp ears picked up the gurgling sounds of vomit being coughed out of Hiro's esophagus two rooms away, she abruptly paused. Hiro was suffering some unpleasantness, and any unpleasantness Hiro suffered lightened Miyako's heart.

Especially since she knew that, most likely, Hiro was the one making herself suffer. Miyako and Yuno had concluded some time ago that Hiro was one of those girls who was fond of making herself vomit after pigging out on too much food, from being so obsessive about her weight. Bulimia, probably — and somewhat surprising to find in a pushy person like Hiro, who didn't exactly have low self-esteem.

Though perhaps, in her heart, Hiro thought no one liked her. Perhaps that was why she continually tried to be everyone's mother, in hopes of being appreciated by others. Or perhaps she wanted to be the perfect girl, always helpful, always kind, while in secret she didn't know how to deal with her own flaws and shortcomings. Miyako didn't know. Miyako didn't care.

Sure, to some degree both Miyako and Yuno though Hiro's case was sad and unfortunate. But they both cracked up anyway, when they had first realized it. And they both had shared the same thought: _It figures._

Miyako suddenly flopped herself down belly-first onto her hammock and began belting out verse, swinging herself and kicking her feet as she sang:

_Fatty girl! Fatty girl!  
Fat! Fat! Fat!  
Soft squishy buns  
Times two, and two!_

_The food goes down  
And it comes back up  
And her mommy slapped her  
As she said, "What a waste!"_

At least making fun of Hiro distracted her from her thoughts about Yuno. Miyako could still recall, more or less, how that conversation with Hiro went when she and Yuno had gotten their first hint of Hiro's psychosis —

_.~.~.~._

_"So didja eat something bad last night?" Miyako asked Hiro. They were in the lunchroom at school. _

_"What do you mean?" said Hiro. _

_"It sounded like you were being sick last night, Hiro-san," said Yuno. _

_"Yeah, I heard these sounds coming from your room that were like—" said Miyako, right before standing up and making melodramatic vomiting noises and gestures. "It was spectacular!" she said eagerly, after her performance was done. _

_Yuno put face to palm. "Miyako, a spectacle is something you _see._ Did you actually see Hiro-san throwing up?" _

_"No—" _

_"Then it couldn't have been 'spectacular'." _

_"...You just have no imagination." _

_Hiro broke in. "Wait a minute, what are you two talking about?" _

_"You," said Yuno. _

_"And your escape from the aliens by throwing up last night!" beamed Miyako. _

_Long pause. _

_"I have no idea what you two mean," said Hiro finally. _

_Yuno rested a cheek on her palm. "Putting Miyako's idiocy aside, you _do_ know what throwing up is, don't you?" _

_"Hey, maybe she was one of those lucky kids who never threw up when they were little!" said Miyako, turning to Yuno. "Boy, then last night must have badly traumatized her. Poor thing...she just didn't know what was happening to her body." She turned again to Hiro. "Did you, Hiro-san?" _

_Hiro looked back at Miyako irritably. "That's what I'm talking about. I wasn't throwing up last night." _

_Another long pause, this time from Yuno's and Miyako's side. _

_"Really," said Yuno flatly. _

_"Then what were all those _bblaaauurgghh!_ noises coming from your room?" said Miyako. _

_"I didn't hear anything," said Hiro. _

_"Miyako and I both heard it," said Yuno. _

_"Well then you're both hearing things," said Hiro. "Honestly, I was just fine last night, I wasn't sick at all. Maybe you two mistook some stray cat throwing up outside for me, hm?" _

_"Hiro-san," said Yuno, "I have a cat back home, and I know the difference between cats vomiting and people vomiting." _

_"Whenever I puke, I try to make it arc like this," said Miyako to no one in particular, drawing an arc in the air with her finger from her mouth. _

_"I'm not stupid like Miyako, you kn—" _

_Hiro abruptly slammed her palm down on the lunch table. Yuno stopped short. Hiro no longer looked at either of them, instead only looking down at the table, and when she spoke, she spoke calmly, but coldly. _

_"Yuno-san. Miyako-san. Quit making things up about me. I don't know what you heard last night, but it wasn't me. I wasn't throwing up. I was in bed asleep, and I was perfectly fine last night." _

_Hiro gathered up her unfinished lunch and stood. "I have a quiz this afternoon that I need to go study for. Excuse me." She then walked away. _

_Once Hiro was out of sight, Miyako bubbled up with inappropriate enthusiasm. "Wow! Hiro-san's got something to hide!" she said. _

_"Yeah, that wasn't the least bit suspicious," said Yuno with her cold-hearted smile. _

_.~.~.~._

That had taken place earlier in the school year, when they still hadn't known Hiro very long. Though they soon learned about the spiteful side of Hiro after that, for they continued to tease her about the "mysterious barfer of 101" incident, even occasionally retelling the story to other girls at school — until Hiro found ways to retaliate.

She would give them "friendly little reminders" about underwear thieves prowling the neighborhood, chiding them for leaving their bras and panties hanging outside to dry after doing their laundry — and she would announce these reminders loudly and clearly across classrooms and hallways full of other students, while throwing in a comment or two about how the thieves often targeted those cutesy character-print panties of Yuno's or Miyako's. Not that Yuno or Miyako ever left their underwear outside to dry anyway, or that either of them owned character-print panties.

Another time Hiro left a note for them in their shoe lockers at the end of the day saying that she had taken it upon herself to clean up their shoes for them, "just as a little favor", and to drop by her apartment at Hidamari after school to pick them up. After Yuno had slammed her shoe locker door in disgust at having no shoes to wear on her way home — and after Miyako had angrily torn up her own note into pieces and eaten it — they had both shown up at Hiro's door in their street-dirtied socks and banged on it, and Hiro had smiled warmly at them and returned their shoes, but they had only glared at her in return. Though Hiro had been true to her word, technically; their shoes indeed looked slightly cleaner, as if Hiro had spent about three seconds wiping them down with a wet rag.

Still, Miyako had found it rather refreshing to have been lied to so blatantly by Hiro that time in the lunchroom, while Yuno had found it merely amusing. It didn't take them more than a few more days to decide that Hiro must be a purger, though admittedly, neither of them had any real proof of that theory.

And so, back in the present, the random thought entered Miyako's random head in between her verses:

_Well, maybe I should _get_ some proof, then!_

Although she wasn't sure how she'd go about it, she figured she'd find a way to make it happen soon, whenever Hiro decided to gag herself again. The important thing at that moment was to have made the decision to do so, and decide she did, and with the decision made she jumped from the hammock to her feet and trumpeted out more song with Miyako-ish energy:

_Cream puffs! Pudding cups!  
Cakes and sweets!  
She eats and she eats  
'Til her buttons go 'Pop!'_

_She likes 'em so much  
That she always tastes 'em twice!  
In-and-out! Down-and-up!  
Turn it all around!_

And indeed, she twirled and spun herself about as she sang the last line, arms stretched out from her like the playful schoolgirl she still was, even at her age, and even if her scheme was ill-natured rather than innocent. Laughing as she went, she took the opportunity to throw in a few lines about her the next-door girl —

_X-girl! X-girl!  
W! X! Y! Z!  
Third from the last!  
Shorter than the rest!  
Ahahahahahaha!_

— demonstrating her fair grasp of the English alphabet, if not of the language, or of its spelling. Yet now unable to contain herself within her room, she then took a fair grasp of the handle to her sliding balcony door and threw it open. She leapt into the night air, and from over the edge of her railing sang out to the neighborhood:

_It's eleven o'clock  
At Hidamarisou!  
Where the girls are cute  
But the tea's always cold!  
Ahahaha—_

A sharp slam from directly below her and a sudden flood of light out onto the grassy backlawn stopped Miyako short, for she heard Sae's murderous shouting even before she saw Sae herself, striding out into the yard and glaring up at her hatefully after having viciously thrown her door open:

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, MIYAKO⁈ DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAMN TIME IT IS⁇ I'VE GOT A DEADLINE AND I'M TRYING TO WORK SO SHUT THE HELL UP! OR I'LL COME UP THERE AND SHUT YOU UP!！"

Miyako at once grew very quiet and very still.

Though she dared not look away, for like prey being cowed in the presence of a predator, she kept a careful eye on the danger close at hand, even as she hoped to escape any further attention.

A few tense moments passed between them, but Sae yelled nothing further, and she tramped back into her apartment below, slammed her door shut, and threw her curtain, snuffing out the light that had been spilling out onto the back yard.

Miyako still didn't move. It wasn't very often that she saw Sae. Sae often stayed shut up in her room at Hidamarisou, and at school Miyako made sure to avoid her, even more so than Hiro.

Very quietly, Miyako sat herself down on her balcony and stared up at the night sky in silence. She hardly would have admitted it, even to herself, but it frightened her to see Sae angry. Especially since there was scarcely anything else in the world that frightened her. Yet she already knew from past experience...from that one time in Yuno's room, not long after Yuno had moved in...that Sae was capable of more than just yelling at others when she was angry. And she'd already had one bad scare today; getting a taste of a second one was too much.

_...This day sucks._

Miyako glumly leaned the side of her head on the metal railing. Idly she wrinkled her nose and, feeling a dry booger inside, picked it out and began rolling it between her thumb and forefinger, shaping it into a nice little ball before flicking it down into the yard, just in front of Sae's back door.


End file.
